writing feels good

Writing feels really good, like when I'm done writing on here I get super amped and stay awake reading/replying to/writing tweets til much later in the night, though ill try to avoid that tonight. Writing feels really good, so I'm going to do it some more. I have this odd feeling that I've been thing to withhold pleasure from myself, like 'oh it feels good it must be bad' and yet for the last few years its been the opposite of that, doing everything 'if it feels good do it again'. I lived 18 years with religion and 5 years without, so I can't really explain which is better, but these last few years have sucked so maybe it was religion that was good for me. Or maybe just growing up sucks. Yeah growing up sucks. Growing up is also awesome though. It's just not as awesome as being a kid. Growing up/being old is regular. Being young is just awesomer. More awesome. Fuck English. Point is: I prefer typing on my phone - more intimate. Want to move away - pa blows right now. Lined up a job - staples. Gonna take.6 months of work to pay off my last student loan. Need to figure out what I want to do. Need to get on better terms with my parents. Or not. Need to get on better terms with more people. Stupid goddamn motherfucking Manchester college. Fuck that place. Still angry. I knew what was going to happen to me. I knew it and I still let it all happen to myself. And I still let it get to me apparently. "they're still winning." But if I give up they won't know how much they suck. I feel like I can understand (nearly) every psycho path out there who's shot up a school or tried of succeeded in molesting a kid or killed someone. they had pent up frustration at one or more things and finally snapped or finally said

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