may it be known

I am simply posting here on this day December 15 2010 at 12:18 am that I will be claiming as "first" the username and/or potentially rap pseudonym LOCUTIONWIZARD . or locutionwizard in lowercase, either way. the point is, I have had the same username for nearly 10 years now. you see, "bonda130" was the username I chose when I was 13, hanging with my brother by the computer in the loft some afternoon. anyway, the first commercials for the "Mondo" brand juice drinks had come out, and since we never were bought that stuff for kids/(actually I remember Mom buying some, after we'd asked her to. ha!>childhood) anyway we would act out the commercials jumping around yelling "mondo!" and my brother started calling me mondo and then bondo and then bonda came about, and he didn't call me it much, but for whatever reason that's what I chose as my username for AIM i believe it was for.

this is very lame. documenting my internet username history. as if this is a permanent place to do it. whatev.

so i kept using that username through high school of course, never changed it, and used it for a bunch more stuff. actually I still use it for a bunch of sites but it's simple and so here is me saying on the internet that after 10 years I'm getting a new one for some things. wow. this is just so trivial. but it's cool writing. or so i've heard.

oh yeah, locutionwizard, it's obviously just locution + wizard. i'm a word wizard. or i'm hoping to work up to that. wizards are badass though, so i gotta stop being lame and writing about cool shit. like drinking. like not drinking. doing things. peace. definitely a thing you can work towards, but at what cost? and if one side will absolutely not abandon the fervor of their position and the actions they argue they are compelled to make, does that make you willing to be slaughtered by some preposterous person or group of people? no, i say not. but as an american atheist who believes in God, I stand firmly on this side of the atlantic prepared to defend the ideals that this country was founded upon. We need the truth, because I'm willing to bet that a large portion of the actions of the US would be agreed upon by the tax-paying citizens of this country. Stop the bad ones, keep doing good. But is there really a "good" and a "bad" when it comes to certain things, such as someone's decisions 50 years ago? We can and must learn from our mistakes, but to do that we must understand the facts surrounding the circumstances, or we don't. one way or the other, we're now living in YEAR OF OUR LORD 2010. let's face it, we're a culture/society built on Christianity, in some sense. That doesn't mean that we must act as if it's 2000 years ago, but let's keep that in mind when considering European and American development and spread through the 1700's. I only really know about the big name philosopher's of the 300 years plus ancient and medieval. So history, the majority of politics and arts and religion were kind of passed over in my current intellectual repertoire. actually a lot of stuff is not currently available due to THC use over the last 5 years. I would like to work for people who consider themselves "recovering marijuana users" and offer ways to help them either quit smoking or find new ways to enjoy living and spending their time. but that on the side, just a service I'd be able to offer. I'd like to own a business or two.

20/15/2010
micah Sollenberger

this too

And regardless of what happens the system I was raised on will have an effect on my beliefs.
As I associate various things to each other like dad and recycling
Jumping out the car, picking up cans that he somehow saw on the side of the road, Frattaroli's
The list goes on, but what matters here?
What's important when choosing between
Sentimentals and principles
What holds sway over my way of living?

apparently i used to care about this type of shit.
just trying to get rid of these sheets of paper in this notebook. must have been 2 years or more that i wrote this.

I need to make a list of all the things I won't do. not by choice, but pure, realistic, logical thinking.
Consideration for all things, I probably won't own a Fortune 500 company
Nor will I sail around Cape Horn though I would like to see Africa and maybe Europe.
But this list would grow exponentially and never cease to grow until I actually did one of the things. probably accidentally.

i don't know, seems like a waste of time. but now i can toss from real life. i wonder how long it'll remain here online. like 80 years from now, will it be 404'd? or if i remain active does google keep this shit alive? fucking google..

a long ass time ago..

I always hear about people who live the way the think; the way they believe.

But rarely do we consider the people who think the way they live.

Classic chicken/egg type situation - if your life style is chosen first your beliefs will fall in line.

My lifestyle was selected for me; how can I have my own beliefs in such an isolated system?

- I remember writing that a long time ago in a brief moment of clarity, or some second or two when I was able to do what I wanted to do (write). I don't know, it's an interesting thought I believe, one some people might not consider often, or ever. I'd actually completely forgotten this belief of mine, is it still?

and this one:

What matters is up to us, we decide what's important - to us - what's important?

We can each decide for ourselves or so they say but since when is what we want what's important? or at least, what I want may not be best

For me, for other people, for the world - For the world's people.

Why can't we act globally? "think globally act locally"

The ultimate goal is that, inverse.

the ultimate goal being "think locally, act globally". what person wouldn't act in a way that kept his neighbors safe, fed and happy? to be able to act in such a way that had that much effect would be crazy but hopefully turn out well.

ah(uh)ohamIalivetodie

ah(uh)ohamIalivetodie ah. uh. ohhh(as in zer0) ha ham no AM I alive to die? isn't that essentially what we're accomplishing in the long (long) run? depending of course on how far into the future we go. for example if it's anywhere longer than 150 years, it's most likely longer than the current human life span. and if it's anything less than 5-10 minutes, it's most likely not very significant to a human life span. or is it? 5 minutes that is, I think I could make a case that five minutes is very important, but consider instead 5 hundredths of a second, or less. we as humans can't really fathom that type of time distance can we? how many 5/100th's of seconds have i used just in typing this most recent word recent. recess. reces. i'm in the depress weed rest back on the weed rest vest my invaluable test- testament to the precarious various scary-us scary you too watch us on youtube quote endquote das racist dad drab grab stab strawberry patch the tire light the fire squelch the fire rock the tire stone nail trails the tire wire ply plywood ply wire try wino fry nemo tread slow acxkdcipteepee tree leer jet swoops, inches from the rim of the passenger plane's rear tail; used for direction and aeronautical profusion, the rear tail is vital to a plane flight, and that psycho barely clipped ours! said the lieutenant over the loud speaker. yeah no shit i thought, if you'd let me out these chains i'd jump out and chase the bastards, but the flightjackets were only to be used on special occasions, and my current situation didn't allow it. if it weren't for that ditch, i thought, i'd probably be the one floating in the casket, instead of suspended by my vitals by wire on the deathbed of life; if saving lives were the objective, then the temperframe made a lot of sense; but if some poor bastard would be better off on the other side of the living, then let the man die for crime's sake. but army training took costs, everyone knew that. as did the jackets. at least we can coast on the jet stream most of the way, save some fuel i thought to myself. what was it 250 nautical miles an hour the man-made jetstream generated or well centralized would be a better word for it.

but

anyways locqution wizaard i thought would be the internet spelling of "locution wizard" which i thought would be a cool online profile or screen name or whatever. locutionwizard works, but i misspelled it on purpose to i don't know what i was thinking, whatever. i had a number of good ideas last night, namely oh a website that did what what what was it can't remember. back to sobriety and back in society wait no this is a waste right now i think i'm going to click the little red x and close this

locqution wizaard

locution -

n.

1. A particular word, phrase, or expression, especially one that is used by a particular person or group.

2. Style of speaking; phraseology.]

not to be confused with vernacular. or diction. or style phrase. style phrase computer technician
phases- do people have them? as kids you'd go through "phases" but at what point does a curious interest become something more along the lines of a career or life decision.
what's up with decision making at all? i've read twice now that making decisions feels good, as you're taking control of the things that you're exposed to, insofar as you're capable of making those decisions.
but if i'm doing it to benefit my way of living, is that inherently selfish or perhaps just looking out for the best interests of the person most important to myself. at this point in my life. from a survival point of view.
anyways the title: I know some people make up random lettered names, and i'll try and make up one as a joke (ooh check this: http://twitter.com/bonda130) never mind can someone explain the commands for twitter? for example @ is obvious but #? any others? thanks..

my

my lack of consistency regarding posting to blogger are somewhat disappointing to me, however there are many things that i have been unable to do on a regular basis that disgust me more..maybe disgust isn't the proper word, but i could definitely be doing more; regardless of what it is, i'm just not doing it. i'll try and start..

anyway, i've been working for 3 weeks now, and april flew past. 2 paychecks, like 450 or so, plus what i've managed to scratch out from my pops, the neighbor labor and taking junk to the recycling place. which is pretty kewl, i load up this old ass metal and junk from the rock pile at the farm and they pay me to give it to them. i imagine they are turning a profit off my ass, but getting played ain't so bad when i get something out of it too.

umm, i am saddened by the fact that i started out writing about money, but it's more of a reality for me now. i am still squandering money like a fooool, but i'm more aware of the fact that i have loans coming due in june, things i'd like to buy, and things i'd like to invest in. like a car. driving a truck is killing my wallet. or a greenhouse. or any number of things.

i eye aye i have only talked about myself. that's all i know, though. almost all. at least.
um.
hmm.

meh.
peace.

i'll write something quick

since i have a beautifully working space bar now and it's 6:12 and i don't really have anything else to do. worked today. 8:10-2:40, 6 and a half hours of bread toasting, vegetable cutting, sandwich making assisting, and wiping down cutting sheaths.. it's not a bad time, but not altogether my favorite activity. i guess it's all about that paycheck at this point. i'd prefer gaining experience in some other field, but oh well. actually, i could be a cook. maybe a baker. i'd bake some delicious cakes and breads and shit, that'd be sweet. of course if they sold. oooh (yeah, selling ganj laced delicacies in CA or amsterdam, sure, it'd be fun) but actually i just now thought that i'd really like to cook up some sick ass candy or chocolate or something.. like, fuck hershey, they're corporate cockfest these days, i'ma start a small scale chocolate/candy shop and put the squeeze on them. haha that'd be tight wild (das racist).

work. is done, but tomorrow it starts again. is this what it's like to be an adult?? imagine doing it for 20-30 years, damn. i didn't really do anything with my unemployment time, didn't go anywhere, didn't do shit, 'cuz i couldn't, because everything costs money even moving costs money. pete got accepted to cal-tech and turned down mit, what a badass position to be in. i wonder if shane will go to mit if accepted.. hope he comes out this summer, that'd be coooool.

um. mike lafrance was home last night (well he's home for this next week or so) and we went to the bluebird for wings, what a good time. it's strange how we can kind of just revert back to 4 years ago or so and act like everything (basically) is the same. it's kind of neat. but what weight does one's friends have on one's choices/decisions (or should it) if X if anything i don't know if what? it's not that i don't like the people i hang out with now, it's just meeting new people is a far more exciting experiment in social ability. man i love talking to some people; some people i avoid; some i'd prefer to have never been born. sometimes i prefer to have been born longer ago, when we didn't know what we (the human race) know now.. would life have been more worthwhile? like hunting for one's meal, foraging, scavenging.. well how about not even that long ago, like 12th century, 15th century, what were they thinking about back then? how was X understood back then? religion was different i'm sure (RELIGION too broad, try monotheism; polytheism.. globalization didn't exist, for the better) but so was social norms, scientific knowledge base was much smaller, lesss far less chemical/synthetic human creations.. let's create a being that we are able to genetically evolve at a incredibly rapid pace. or just mess w/ its genetics a bunch, try and make a super beast. lion/bear/elephant combination or something. that's ridiculous. one day.

to be honest a nuclear holocaust wouldn't be that bad of a thing, globally speaking.

ok, quick thought experiment. we'll start small: particle level - i know very little, except that there's all these tiny bits of mass that operate independently but come together to create a larger thing (a molecule? maybe) with large amounts of space in between. next: molecular level - again small bits that somehow chemically combine and work together to create larger compounds, which then make solids/liquids/gases etc. finally we've got the small microscopic level, where things like mites and plankton and phytoplankton and ants live - are they completely oblivious to everything except their own propagation? i'd think so. and then there's us - humans are insanely complex machines that operate within the realm of the earth, yet our minds have been able to comprehend so much more.. ..tupac time. i might finish this later. it's probably a waste of time. two things below i'd like to spend time typing about. see youme later.

intellectual dexterity.
locution wizard.

there'ssooomuch

there really is. and so much that i won't get recorded. how is it that i can fluctuate so often on things, topics, choices, yes's and no's. every other day it's a different conclusion. conflusion i almost typed, but it sort of equals out to be confusion with conclusion.. a confused conclusion. like any decision made on treeee.

i need to type secretly as i'm still living w/ my parents. sort of. like maybe if i ever move out the house i can be like: 'yo ma, i like drinking beer from time to time'; 'pops, i smoked weed off and on for...5 years? i don't remember, that's a symptom..'

haha. oh sheez technically this is accessible via a few clicks from my family's blog. which no one ever checks. 9MYFUCKING SPACEBAR SUCKS!)

pointless.
countless.
shirtless. ha shirtless run w/ pat tshudy today, for like an hour, i swear we would be lucky to have even gotten a mile.

then job house, i'm penciled in for 6 months or so now, that should be nice..

tomorrow at 8 i start.

10 important things i need to list since lastwriting,anything,anywhere:
joshua and i drove to indiana for easter.
we helped my mom do a bunch of chores (joshua more than me), but one was touring an organic farm, and separately i nmmnvm (space bar fix ftw) rototilled a bigger section of my mom's garden..it was excellent.
hung out hella meals and deals of eucher and pinochle w/ my grandparents and uncles/aunts/cousin..
drove home tersely until the one hitter was hit (not me) and then we talked about something.
das racist is on and i downloaded their new album and its tights
twitter is nothing more than a private notebook for writing down thoughts that everyone sees.
kind of like this. did i say 10 things? i meant 4 and a half.

i'll try and do some real writing (i might be able to afford the following things in a few weeks: mustang fixes, paint/supplies, ACOUSTIC GUITAR holy smash that'd be nice, and a motorcycle..) i really want that last one.

oh and my grandma and aunt kept calling it as-para-grass . i didn't want to correct them. asparagus is the proper spelling (thanks right click spell check feature)

adieu

sweet

so i've decided or concluded or whatever you want to call it actually it was probably inevitable that this would happen because there's no point in having accounts w/two blogging websites, but since i did get one here and one w/ tumblr, well, i've decided to use this as a more private writing session storage site and use the tumblr account for more public writing. i don't know that it really matters except that i was kind of trying to figure out how to go about using both websites. we'll see what happens..

on a lighter note, this has been a good day.

good because yesterday was a bad day, and the day before that was a good day.

i don't remember farther back but i do think the day before that was a bad day, and so i've decided to start each day (and begin looking forward as such) thinking that every other day will be good, and every other day (the other days) will be bad. that way, like today, i was able to have a really decent day, for no other reason than that i decided it would be. this decision was of course spawned due to the bad day yesterday (and the good day before that) so this is a new technique i am trying. i think it's possible that each bad day will get better (in that it will be less bad, relatively) and each good day will get that much better than the last.

i don't know if this will work, but it's a good day, so i am going to say it will. it'll work perfectly. everything will work out well enough in the end. everything is working out perfectly now. how could it be otherwise?

slept late, worked 4 hours, went to a job interview at the hershey lodge, filled out applications at soprano's and the cafe campbelltown, and ate delicious subs from a&m. and a dos equis (thanks ray), and soon leaving for IN..diana..

adieu.

ok

umm, i don't know, what a shoddy list. maybe i'll write on those things, i guess i'll try expanding it some time here as well. i'm confused by certain things right now, namely the idea that people generally write things in hopes of other people reading them.. i don't think that's really what i'm trying to get out of this practice. i'd just like to keep track of some thoughts, and writing seems to help with that. again, i'm the one posting personal details on the internet (for pete's sake) of all places, but why? juuuuuust because. because other people do it? they do it more. or there's more people doing it more. lots of people. it's odd stumbling upon some random-ass site, and then discovering that there's already thousands of people already using it, and getting something out of it. how am i supposed to do anything outside of the digital world when i'm so busy updating and maintaining these few things i've joined?
clearly, not every person is intended to use every site. take for example picassa and flicker: both are web-based image hosting sites, (i guess i need to include there photobucket, imageshack and wordpress) and both are free. both allow you to store and access your photos, but they both have slight differences. is there any point in my joining both sites? various questions arise thereafter, such as: what's the damn difference? which pictures do i put where? do i even take pictures, and why would i want to bother uploading them into the cybersphere?
clearly some of these have answers, others don't. others, damn it, have multiple answers, or the answer is up for debate. or there isn't a best answer. actually this last possibility indeed seems true regardless of what i'm thinking about. anyways..
before i asked myself these questions, i wound up making both a picassa account and a flickr account..this might be a bad thing, except that i haven't even added any pictures to either(!) wait, sonabitch, it turns out picassa was purchased by google (it appears) and has been linked to my blogger account..this seems somewhat helpful, so maybe i'll keep flickr as an alternative, and just keep them independent of each other.. nice. after all, what would be the point of uploading the same pictures onto both sites? seems like a waste of bandwidth..i don't even know if that makes sense, oh well.

ok, so i've accomplished something just now. albeit something mundane and superfluous (is that possible??) but something nonetheless, and more than i can say about my life outside of this computer. haha sweet.

wow

writing that last night felt soo good. i was able to get that venomous hatred out of my head and was able to complete sam harris's response to some sean guy at the online magazine 'discover', which was a really really interesting/comprehensive argument. it was long, but certainly worth it. today has been better, though i like doing that.

i can't write much right now, but here's a short list of some things i'd like to write longer on:

a synopsis of the specific effects marijuana has had on me as a person.
essentially the same thing regarding the abstention of sex on a person (right, that's the reason).

ok actually i can't think of anything, maybe later will work better.

what the fuck

holy shit i hate clicking something and it not working, when there's no good reason for it not to work. like just now. i clicked 'new post'; nothing. for like 15 seconds, but that's aeon's on a computer. well not my computer. damn it i'm the dumbass. anyway of course i clicked it again and before i had even finished the click (it was weird) this page was loaded. it reminds me of whenever i click on something (and this is typically a problem i've experienced in the past) say an internet link and nothing happens for awhile, and then you're like 'ok, nevermind i'll just hit stop and stay on this page' and so you hit stop and what the hell happens? it stops loading the new page, and cancels out the page you had loaded, leaving you with nothing. holy shit that pisses me off. whatever.

anyway, 'what the fuck' because of that, rather than 'goddamn it' for joshua's sake. but he's the reason i'm writing:

ok, have you ever tried reading and every sentence you can't connect to the previous sentence for whatever reason, usually being high does this or if you have something on your mind? like not on your mind but right in front, directly in the forefront of your brain, usually if i get really mad i experience this and it's practically a blinding rage, and you can't think. INFURIATING. especially if you're trying to read any random ass thing or especially if it's a fucking article from some bullshit journal for a paper you don't want to write because your professor is a twat who's done nothing but sit in a fucking office the last 15 years and "TEACH" but all he's teaching is verbatim ideology bullshit that no one fucking understands. HOLY SHIT GODDAMN IT.

anyway, so joshua comes up just now and there's a topic he likes to talk about, it's the only fucking thing he talks about and i want to punch him in his fucking face when he does, and anyway he walks in and starts talking about it and i said, and i quote: "i don't care. i don't want to hear about it." and guess what the motherfucker does? HE FUCKING TELLS ME ALL ABOUT IT ANYWAYS.

this i think is the most infuriating thing i've ever experienced. do i go about telling him, or anyone else for that matter, anything? no. i keep to myself and leave well enough alone. because goddamn it i like it that way. and when the very subject matter of said dialogue (monologue i should say) relates to a topic that in itself yields unproductive and unconstructive argumentation and life choices, IT'S THE FUCKING MOST MADDENING THING I HAVE HAD TO GO THROUGH, AND IT'S A DAILY OCCURANCE.

fuck. stop.
swear.ing.
it's makes you dumb.

this is hardly helping.






i'm moving to australia.
(http://www.amazon.com/Alexander-Terrible-Horrible-Good-Very/dp/0689711735)

daily conclusion: anyone who is happy all the time is a fucking fool. no one is happy all the time, and if they are, they're living a lie. it's self induced phsycosis, and those people should be put to death.

i'm not negative or positive, i'm just sick of day to day consciousness. FUCK.

hmm

so i just spent like 30 min writing a post on my fantasy baseball message board, but i can't scrape together 15 minutes for a simple string of sentences on here? well, i am now. i mean, shit, it's sunday and i have no family (close by), no responsibilities (per se), and a sweet computer and the internet. haha, joshua asks me what i do all day; i don't think he understands the internet.

anyway, it's what 3 months since i wrote anything? lame.. idk why, maybe because the colors on this page are so god awful. just hideous (hey i kind of like them) shit well they're not bad by themselves, or even together they are (i actually do like them) but some time put into it would make it much nicer. blahhhhhhggger. lager. flogger.that's all there is.

who is my audience right?
no one.
i'm writing to myself. except that your thing is viewable to people. well 1 person.

sam if you ever read this i had no idea your pictures from google buzz were attached to words, or that you were such an avid keep-tracker-of daily information. i guess that's really the point of this site, but who wants others to read it? why didn't i ever keep a journal? forget it who cares.

just start now.
but i'm too busy being a sponge.
well squeeze yourself out every once in awhile. you can't always be shoving things into your brain, sometimes it's therapeutic to wring something out from time to time.. with your own twist of course.
hmm, thats. not. a. bad. way. of putting it.
thanks.
no thank you.

(do all people converse with themselves mentally? surely. thus, scizcsophrenia is a bogus condition. schizophrenia isn't though. hey i type phrenetically. you mean frenetically. yes and no. ha!)

oh snap lvb for the finale..

a man sat in a tree twiddling his thumbs.
a bird flew by and stopped, sat, and stared.
what's the matter bird he said, haven't you seen a man do nothing before?
the bird cawed once, twice, then flew up into a gust, and coasted on the breeze..
the difference between man and bird? birds don't have thumbs.

that was stupid. whatever. who cares?